I Cannot Be With You

Sometimes I shudder with memory; another person walked through my life then.

I have grown to love solitude, space, time - without you.

I do not feel a need to hear you, to feel you, eventually to know the distance between us.

To realize what it takes..the trying, trying, the endless creating and waiting for you, causes me to cringe with fear and exhaustion.

I cannot be with you; it matters not the beauty in your eyes as you smile at me, nor the words I once longed for.

I will turn away from the growing eagerness of your touch; it is just too much and I cannot/will not disrupt my perfect aloneness.